As featured March 2, 2012, on www.cnjonline.com
It was around the 14th Century or so
when some anonymous irreverent farmer took a highly prized religious
implement and hung it from the neck of his best sheep – and thus
the precious bell was transferred down from the upper echelons of the
priesthood, literally to the herd.
No doubt that must have ruffled some
robes at the time, but it just goes to show no one escapes progress,
not even members of the animal world.
In fact, it seems just like keeping
track of the sheep all those years ago, one of the first areas
ingenuity gets channeled is toward animals and when humans have
technology coming out their ears, we end up with things like texting
cows.
Yep, it took about 700 years since the
first cowbell was donned, but now the herder doesn't even have to be
within earshot to know what his or her cows are doing.
Passing Wii technology from the hands
of children to the necks of cattle, a newly developed collar records
a cow's movements and activity patterns and sends texts to farmers
letting them know when their cows are in distress, in labor or even
ready to breed.
Not quite as communicative but
practical none the less, a UK developer has introduced a pet collar
that can be read with a smart phone bar code scanner app, giving the
pet owner the ability to program a unique, “Return my dog,”
message.
Shh.... Did you hear that? It was a
sigh of relief from cattle ‘round the world as they wait anxiously
for the test tube T-bone to mature.
While the stem cell based beef grows in
a Netherlands petri dish – apparently it takes a long time, its
muscles also have to be “exercised” with electric current and
they’re still working to give it palatable color – “Invitro-meat”
developers are coming up ceramic faux bones to complete the
presentation.
Researchers hope to carve out a first
bite this summer with the goal their lab-made meat will eventually
eliminate animal farming.
And if you thought it was bad when you
saw your kids' multi-hundred dollar techno-Christmas lists this year,
just wait till Fido puts in his gadget order.
Oh no, don't laugh just yet... You may
be surprised to know that dogs have been using touch screens longer
than most of us.
In 2007, Austrian researchers taught
dogs to navigate classification and matching drills using touch
screen computers, about three years or so before you downloaded your
first app.
One-upping the dogs, for months,
orangutans at a Milwaukee zoo have been playing iPad games through
the bars of their cages, while in Toronto another group of orangutans
aren’t just using iPads, they’re also Skyping family members in
nearby enclosures and will eventually be part of a nationwide
orangutan Skype network.
No doubt the day will come where
members of the public get added to their contact lists.
In fact, if current talks are any
indication, the zoo of your childhood is nothing like the ones your
grandchildren will visit.
It seems like cloning extinct animals
is almost a foregone conclusion for the future of zoos – though the
experts believe only those made extinct by mankind should be brought
back, well, with the except of the irresistible woolly mammoth that
is, simply because the DNA samples are so pristine.
But future zoo visitors will also get
to interact, using brainwave reading devices to communicate with
dolphins or wolves, according to ideas tossed around by zoo
professionals during a conference earlier this month.
Without a doubt, whether we impose
technology on them, do it for them or simply share it with them,
animals are right there with us, benefiting and sometimes even adapting to the modern world.
Who knows, before long the family dog
may be even better at programing the remote control than the
3-year-old in the house, and if the technology curve holds true,
they'll both be better at it than us.
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