As featured March 9, 2012, on www.cnjonline.com
Oh, so you think you're a zeitgeber,
well who the heck gave you the right to control the universe?
After all, you may not get it, but
every pet knows full well the world orbits that bowl on the floor in
the kitchen – the rising, and setting, of the sun determined by it
being filled in a timely manner.
Now – Sunday to be exact – us
humans are about to change the course of things... Again.
Sure, you'll be waxing eternal to your
boss Monday morning as you run for the car with mismatched socks and
fly away hair, but will you tell the dog sorry, not likely.
Instead he'll be waiting by his bowl at
the “real” 5 o'clock, while you spend the next couple weeks in
woe-is-me, yawn punctuated whining that you've lost sleep.
Do you have any idea how long an hour
is in the dog world when there's food hanging in the balance?
Long, real long.
Of course now the bowl is filled an
hour earlier in the morning, but by evening that hardly seems to
matter as the anxious minutes of that final hour reveal the torture
of it all and it's not just the pooches and kitties.
Come Sunday evening, fence lines
throughout this country will be dotted with the forlorn faces of
cattle who made their way in from the fields just to look like extras
in the opening scene of some Armageddon type movie – not a farmer
in sight.
That's nothing, however, compared to
the inevitable surprise of raccoons and bears, when, in those
last bits of darkness before morning, they get busted dumpster diving
– you know, that time when you're SUPPOSED to be sleeping!
In the natural world there are these
elements most all creatures respond to that direct the rhythm of the
day. They're called “zeitgebers” German for “time givers,”
and it's a power humans seem bound and determined to try and harness
for themselves.
Why we play this little time game is as
simple as it is complicated.
Starting in the first decade of the
1900's western nations began fiddling with the hands on the clock in
the interest of maximizing efficiency and minimizing resource
consumption, needs compounded with the onset of World War I.
The U.S. was late to the time changing
game, finally taking steps to save the day in 1918 – incidentally
during an era where Taylorism and Fordism were already looking for
spaces to pencil in more hours on the clock and world markets wanted
more time for commerce – though that was just a first step toward
controlling time as laws proceeded to be written and rescinded,
lobbied, and amended.
Even though us American mammals have
adapted (accepted may be a better word) and forgotten when times were
different, times, they've been a changin' off and on ever since.
Of course there are consequences to
playing with time, not the least of which are broadening derriere's
and atrophied muscles.
Yep, confused cows, interrupted
scavengers, and neglected pups aside, experts say our season of
efficiency is counterbalanced by the off-season and electricity isn’t
the only energy we conserve thanks to the shorter days – Our
couches, on the other hand, work overtime.
The debate continues, with many arguing
that Daylight Saving Time, and its longer days, should be extended
or even made permanent, to stimulate commerce but also, activity because
of the laziness that comes from shorter days the rest of the
year. Case in point, in 2005, President Bush signed a law that went into
effect in 2007, adding an additional month to Daylight Saving Time in
most states.
Of course not a factor in such
discussions are the critters that share our homes and inherit their
schedules from ours, however, even though they don't need us to tell
them what time it is, that doesn't mean they 're completely opposed
to “spring forward” time.
Because if the experts are right, while
the pup may have to wait a little longer for his kibble during the
adjustment period, theoretically that extra hour of daylight means
you're off the couch and going for an evening jog or tossing a ball
in the yard... theoretically anyway.
So don't forget to move the hands
forward Sunday, and if you must play zeitgeber, remember, your dog
would probably love some too.
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